On the outside you would never know
Of what endless possibilities lie below
With each drop of water that falls beneath
Nothing seems out of reach
Like endless caverns, thoughts have no end
Where does it all begin
Take a chance and explore the unknown
Remember you are not alone
– A Guardian of Memories
Oh how I miss the breeze through the trees
When I take each step through the sea of leaves
A wave of happiness washes over me
Knowing I am finally free
Free of the mundane life that surrounds
Of the anxiety that always makes it’s rounds
Free from the turmoil which smothers the world
The thoughts in my mind as they are hurled
Far away though it still seems near
Until I finally step out and face my fear
A destination with a view so clear
Nothing to hinder my unclouded perception
As I sit and ponder upon the sky’s reflection
Unbeknownst to me I am finally home
In a place that’s free where I belong
Miles from the address that holds my name
But in a place that means the same
Oh nature how do I leave behind the beauty
To go back to world that leaves me moody?
-A Guardian of Memories
Life…
Something we take for granted
Each breath we are given,
A choice for something more,
Yet many throw it away
Like yesterday’s trash.
Thoughts of wanting more,
But doing nothing to get it,
As if it should be handed
Neatly on a silver platter,
Oblivious to anything
That requires extra effort.
Nothing is promised,
Not our next breath,
Not love and acceptance,
Not our freedom,
Some things have a cost,
And it must be paid.
Life…
A precious gift
Treat it as such.
-A Guardian of Memories
Clouded water reflecting the sky
Unnoticed by most passing by
Dying vines embracing the trees
As if to suffocate the air we breathe
Roots exposed from years of wear
Creeks with no water left to spare
Paths engraved by terror unknown
Where is the life that calls this home
A trap of briars for whom dare pass
Hints of shade the trees oft cast
Beauty is always hidden around
It’s up to you if it be found
“There’s always beauty if you know how to see it.” This came to me after spending the day in nature observing and exploring while my husband enjoyed a round of disc golf. I was reminded that not everyone sees things the same way. Most people would walk past the things I find intriguing and not think twice. Several times this weekend I took a second look, maybe from a different angle, and enjoyed pieces of art that were naturally arranged. Next time you walk past an “eye sore” try looking at it from a different perspective. You may just be surprised at what you find.
-A Guardian or Memories
It was never that I was alone
But that some things were missing
Things that were familiar
No longer there to keep me comfort
A comfort that kept me bound
To a place I no longer could remain
Though I felt alone in myself
I was more free than I knew
No longer chained to fear
No longer bound by anxiety
All the things that I understood
Renewed like the flowers of spring
Peace washed over me
An unfamiliar place of freedom
From the darkness
That once kept me away
From the destiny I sought
Where I could rest in harmony
-A Guardian or Memories
One thing I always look forward to is a trip to the mountains during the fall. There’s just something about the smell of the pine trees and the feel of the crisp air while looking at the beautiful fall colors. It awakens my senses. It makes me feel at home.
I couldn’t let this year be any different. A simple drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway to stop at the overlooks was something I could handle. But that wasn’t going to be enough. I wasn’t going to take the easy way out. Two weeks into recovery from surgery, I had to push myself to the top of the mountain, literally. Each step up that steep climb was harder than the next. My lungs almost couldn’t handle the cool dry air. I can only imagine what those around me were thinking when they heard the overly labored breathing coming from such a seemingly healthy looking person.
Nonetheless, I pushed along, conquering the ailments that tried to hold me down. The view from the top of the summit reminded me of everything that I had overcome. It was worth the struggle to get to a place where the view was incredible.
Take some advice from some music by one of my favorites, Jack Garratt,
“Speak and open up your mind
It’s something you should do all the time
Keep exploring, seek and find
You know you might surprise yourself”
Do something that scares you or makes you push harder than what keeps you comfortable, you may just surprise yourself.
-A Guardian of Memories
Everyone is fighting their own battles; some internally, some externally; some alone, some with support. If someone is having an off day, remember they may be fighting a fight you know nothing about. We all deal with things in our own way, and it is important to remember that we should be supportive and thoughtful of those around us who could be barely hanging on.
That being said, not many people know the battle I faced over the past year. Having health problems since birth, I always had to deal with doctors and testing to ensure I was functioning properly. However, this past year was different, and I had no idea what would become of the ordeal.
With so many changes that happened in every aspect of my life, between losing my boss to brain cancer, purchasing a new house, getting engaged and married (in the same year), overcoming some mysterious health issues, and helping my step daughter transition to high school, this year has flown by. It seemed as if so many things were happening at once, and to top it off, I found out this past summer that there was a chance I had cancer. Fortunately, there were doctors and a support system placed in my path who were able to help me through this process with ease (trust me, I had my moments though).
Today, I had my thyroid removed and finally got answers after months of tests and waiting. I did in fact have Papillary Thyroid Cancer. The surgeon said it was confined inside the nodule (which I often jokingly referred to as my Adam’s apple due to its size and appearance) and she was able to remove it and confirm that the surrounding lymph nodes were benign. I am blessed for it to have been caught it in an early stage with little complication.
As I lay in the hospital bed thinking about this past years events and everything that led up to this point I can’t help but to feel grateful to be alive and have such wonderful people who care about my life.
I must also reflect briefly upon how people act in their profession. If you don’t want to do the job, please let someone else do it. How is it fair to someone who just got out of surgery to have them wait five hours to get any pain relief, go hours without checking on them, not respond to the call buttons when clearly the patient hasn’t been able to get to the restroom, not offer any food, assume they know what their lab results are without telling them when it could be detrimental without the knowledge? It’s not a reflection of the hospital, but of the individual on duty at that particular time. I’m grateful to have a husband who stepped in and ensured I was taken care of while we waited for someone who cares about people’s well-being to step into the position. When someone personally delivers the food you waited three hours for it makes a difference.
Overall, my take away from all of this, treat others how you want to be treated, try to understand you may not always see the battles another person is facing. Pray for those who may not treat you how you feel is appropriate. Love one another, and yourself.
-A Guardian of Memories
Nature is something I thoroughly enjoy. My senses are awakened when I get to soak in the wonders of it. Today was no different in that aspect while trying to build my body back up to what it was used to. The adventure today let us to Rankin Lake Park where a tragedy struck some few months prior. Not that I had forgotten about it, but the story was never told, closure was never given. A little boy who went missing for a few days, later being found and no one could (or would) tell what actually happened. Someone knows. Whether foul play was involved or it was an accident, most do not know, but can only suspect based off opinions and the eerie stories that were shared.
While walking around the lake, I saw pieces of the police do not cross tape still attached to the trees where the search took place. As if those were the last remnants of a lost soul. Forever tied to the tragedy which we may never be able to understand. Don’t take for granted those around you. You never know when someone’s last moments will be. Create memories with the ones you love so hopefully those can be the remnants of their soul living on through stories and photographs.
-A Guardian of Memories
With all of the things that seem to go wrong,
I could sit and ponder on them all night long,
But instead of being dreary and down,
I am thankful for the good things I have found.
-A Guardian of Memories
A Guardian of Memories 